


I’ve fallen in love many times… but always with you

by NotfunnyDean (IronEyes)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is in love, Dean is JEALOUS, First Kiss, Fluff, M/M, Obvious Dean, SO MUCH FLUFF YOU WILL DIE, Sneaky Castiel, so nothing new on that part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-06 04:51:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17933171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronEyes/pseuds/NotfunnyDean
Summary: Dean and Cas are alone in the bunker, when Castiel wants to know if Dean has ever been in love. In return Castiel tells him about a special person he is in love with. Dean needs to know more. For reasons.





	I’ve fallen in love many times… but always with you

**Author's Note:**

> Aaaaand me again. Just another prompt from Tumblr. 
> 
> This one was: "I’ve fallen in love many times… but always with you."
> 
> Have fun!

Dean is nervous.

It’s just a normal day at the bunker, but something is off. It’s not even because there is no urgent hunt at the moment, but maybe it’s because Sam is out alone today. Means Dean is left alone with Castiel and that never ends well. 

Lately the angel has a lot of questions and they always leave Dean a bit embarrassed, but also way too curious for his own good. As soon as Dean would only look at a woman, Castiel asks him all about it.

It’s weird.

And that’s the only reason, why Dean stopped picking up girls. Not... because he hopes that he would finally be the one getting asked out, by an angel or something. Dean groans and then sits down on his couch.

The Dean-Cave is his favorite room in the bunker and he could spend the rest of his life here. He grabs the remote and settles on some CIS show, when the door opens behind him and he rolls his eyes.

“Hello Dean.”

“Hey Cas.” Dean answers, but otherwise ignores him. If he gave Castiel his attention, the angel would for sure find a way to make this awkward again and Dean doesn’t do awkward. Or at least he tries. 

“Mind if I sit down?” Castiel asks and Dean shakes his head. He busies himself with his beer bottle and Castiel sits down on the couch. Not directly next to Dean, but still very close. Dean kinda wants to squirm in his seat.

Luckily, for the next minutes Castiel actually watches the show. Dean is already bored. It’s the typical case with one of the agents falling in love with the other one. Dean sighs, he kinda has this bullshit in his own life, he doesn’t need to watch it as well.

“Dean?” Castiel mutters, when one of the characters finally admits her feelings to her partner.

“Hm?” Dean hums and tries to concentrate on the screen.

“Have you ever been in love?” Castiel asks and this time he has Dean’s attention. Another question. It never gets old, huh?

“Sure.” Dean says shortly and when he looks at his best friend, Castiel frowns. Dean is a bit surprised at that reaction. Dean is already 40, of course he has been in love before. He wasn’t a block of ice. 

“Hm.” Castiel says and somehow Dean actually wants to talk about it now.

“I mean... when II was 16 I fell in love the first time. It was... you know my first love. Kinda embarrassing, but whatever. Her name was Robin. I met her, when I was at a boy’s home one summer.” Dean explains and then shrugs awkwardly in the end. 

Castiel raises both eyebrows and then nods. He has a tiny smile on his face and Dean feels himself smiling, when he thinks about Robin. He regrets that he never took her out for the school dance, since John and Sammy came back early. Otherwise, he doesn’t regret anything at all.

“That sounds pleasurable.” Castiel answers and Dean snorts. One word for it, even though Dean didn’t go to the next base with her. He shakes his head.

“Yeah, after that, there was Cassie. First girl I told about the hunting. She didn’t believe me.” Dean says shortly, because he doesn’t really want to talk about her. It somehow still hurts, since there was a time, when he had thought… doesn’t matter now.

“I like the name.” Castiel says and he is grinning. Dean actually laughs loudly and claps Castiel on the shoulder. Lately his angel is a lot better with jokes.

“Do you want me to call you Cassie from now on?” Dean asks and he waggles his eyebrows. Castiel is smiling beautifully, but he is also shaking his head. Dean winks at him for good measure. 

“No thank you, Dean.” Castiel says, as serious as he can, while he is still grinning. Dean is still not really used to this smile, but it looks good on Castiel. He should have fun like this more often. Dean leans back in his seat.

“And then there was Lisa… right?” Castiel asks and Dean nods shortly. If he doesn’t really want to talk about Cassie, there would be no way he’d want to start talking about Lisa again. She and Ben are so much better of without him.

“Yeah.” Dean just offers and Castiel seems to feel how awkward Dean feels to talk about this. While he knows now… that he was in love with those girls, each was a different form of love. Robin, being the first crush, Cassie, the first ‘coming home’ and Lisa, the comfort and family he always wanted.

Silly, that he found all of this in a new person now. 

“Anna?” Castiel asks quietly and Dean shakes his head. Oh god. No, the thing with Anna, well it had felt good. But he wouldn’t call it love.

“Nah. That wasn’t… love.” Dean says carefully, since Anna is in a weird way Castiel’s sister. But Castiel looks more relieved, than angry.

“I envy humans for falling in love.” Castiel says quietly and Dean’s head snaps up. He doesn’t really understand what Castiel wants to say with that. 

“You never fell in love before?” Dean says and somehow his heart squeezes awfully in his chest. Maybe Castiel fell in love with the concept of humanity but not with a human himself. Dean rubs over his chest and watches Castiel carefully.

“Oh, I did.” Castiel just says and then just looks back to the TV. Dean is still trying to process Castiel’s statement. What? And then Castiel didn’t tell him or Sam that?

“Care to elaborate?” Dean asks and it sounds way more gruff, than he intended to. He feels betrayed and he knows it’s not fair, because as a best friend he should know this stuff and be happy for Castiel. Instead he feels jealous. Angry. _Hurt_.

“When god created us, we weren’t like you humans. We weren’t meant to fall in love. It doesn’t happen to us as often, as it does to you. But sometimes… sometimes you would hear colorful stories about an angel, who fell in love with a human, even though it was forbidden.” Castiel explains and he automatically looks up at the ceiling. Dean knows how much he misses heaven. 

“And you did?” Dean asks again and Castiel sighs. He nods and then looks at his hands in his lap. Doesn’t seem like he is really happy about it.

“Years ago.” Castiel admits and Dean swallows. Right. Castiel is million years old, for sure some time there would’ve been a human he fell in love with.

“But? She didn’t like you?” Dean asks and Castiel shrugs. 

“It wasn’t a woman.” Castiel just says and then he gets up. For a moment Dean believes Castiel will just leave him like that, but instead the angel goes to the fridge and takes out another bottle of beer. He offers it to Dean, who is still playing with his empty one.

“So, you like guys or what?” Dean says and his laugh sounds so fake, even to his own ears. Dean is still bad at admitting to other people that he is bi himself. He made peace with this ages ago, but around other people he is still wary. Only Charlie really knew. 

“Gender doesn’t matter to me, Dean.” Castiel says and Dean nods. Yeah right. Strictly speaking, Castiel didn’t have a gender anway. Just his vessel is male. Sometimes Dean wonders, if it would’ve made a difference, if Castiel had a different vessel... Maybe then he would’ve asked him out. 

But then again, Castiel would still be an angel and out of Dean’s league. An angel who already loves someone else. Dean coughs slightly.

“So then, tell me about your...love. Why do you like him out of all people, if you could have anyone?” Dean presses out and he doesn’t even know why he says that. Seems like he does love torture. Torturing himself. Dean leans even more back in the couch, to be ready for another heartbreak.

“There are many reasons. I fell in love with his eyes, every single time he looks into mine. Sometimes I get so lost in his eyes, that I can’t focus on anything else.” Castiel admits and he looks at Dean, just for a second.

Dean frowns.

“He undresses you with his eyes, huh?” Dean tries to grin, but he isn’t sure, if it actually looks like a smile. It feels more like a grimace. He kinda wants to smack the guy for staring at his angel.

“Sometimes it feels like it.” Castiel says and he laughs a bit. Dean blushes, he hopes that Castiel doesn’t see how he sometimes undresses him. 

_Dammit._

“Gross.” Dean presses out and Castiel chuckles.

“I fell in love with the way he smiles, when he thinks nobody’s watching.” Castiel continues and Dean nods. He knows what that's like. Every so often, when Castiel is with them on a hunt, Dean watches him, smiling at a flower or some bees. Every single time he feels as if he is falling in love with Castiel again.

“So, he is really good looking, hm?” Dean wants to know and Castiel winks at him.

“He is, but that’s not what I love the most about him. Sometimes I feel like he knows how good he looks and he plays with it. Other times he feels insecure.” Castiel explains and Dean automatically sucks in his stomach. 

He understands that guy. Normally Dean feels good in his body too… but sometimes he eats too much pie and only realizes later, how his tummy looks.

“What makes him so special, then?” Dean asks anyway and he takes another sip of his beer. He deserves this comfort now.

“I fell in love with his commitment for his work, the way he puts his heart into every task.” Castiel says and Dean raises his eyebrows. Seems like the guy has some serious problems with his work. Maybe he should take a break, if he does so much for every single task.

“Workaholic?” Dean asks and Castiel snorts.

“Yeah, you could say that. I wish he would take breaks more often, because he really deserves them, but he never does.” Castiel explains and Dean is lost in his own thoughts again. He kinda feels overworked as well. Maybe he should seriously think about a nice little vacation. Take Sammy with him and Castiel and… his boyfriend?

“Maybe you need to force him.” Dean says quietly and looks back at the TV. The show is over by now, but he is glad that there is some noise in the background.

“Yes, but I also fell in love with the way he takes care of his family. He puts everyone else’s needs and wellbeing over his own.” Castiel says and this time he looks at Dean while saying it. Dean can’t look away for a second.

“Family is important.” Dean chokes out and Castiel nods.

“And it doesn’t end in blood. You taught me that, Dean. I will never forget that. I always thought I had a family in heaven, but turns out, my family is right here. In a bunker.” Castiel says and he says it so determined, that Dean feels the need to confirm it.

“Yeah. You’re family, Cas.” Dean whispers. He had the thought more than once, that he wishes for Castiel to be more than family. Dean never imagined that there could be someone more important than Sam, but Castiel changed that. Dean looks away.

“I fell in love with his love for music. He likes classic rock and when he sings along to his favorite songs I feel like I never left heaven.” Castiel says and this time it’s a lot quieter. Dean doesn’t dare to look at him.

“Classic rock hm? Sounds more like _my_ dream guy.” Dean answers and he doesn’t even realize, that Castiel gasps at him. Dean would never admit that out loud, but he actually doesn’t care what kind of music Castiel likes. Sure, he made him that mixtape and whenever he hears that Castiel listens to it, his heart beats a lot faster.

But, even if Castiel hated the music, that would be okay, too.

“I do believe you’d like him.” Castiel chuckles then and Dean shrugs with his left shoulder. Well he would pretend to like the guy, if he is that important to Castiel. He would still hate him for stealing his angel from him.

“Maybe.” Dean simply says, since he doesn’t want to fight with Castiel over this. He wishes he never made Castiel talk about his crush. This sucks a lot.

“I fell in love with his love for his car, how he treats her as his most precious possession.” Castiel continues and this time Dean frowns. These are actually a lot of coincidences. If he didn’t know better, he would think… 

Dean shakes his head.

“Yeah? Is his car prettier than Baby?” Dean answers and Castiel shakes his head.

“No, I don’t think there exists a car more beautiful than Baby.” Castiel says and Dean nods. Damn right. At least he would be the winner in this kind of race. He wouldn’t get Castiel, but nobody comes even close to his Baby.

“Exactly.” Dean says proudly and Castiel snorts.

“Well, maybe my car comes close?” Castiel tries and Dean gasps loudly. Rude! Dean even leans closer and punches Castiel against the shoulder, even if it doesn’t hurt the angel at all. He needs to know that he can’t say those lies out loud.

“No way. Your pimpmobile is not even on the same _planet!_ ” Dean says and Castiel is laughing for real this time. Dean kinda wants to lean even closer and stop Castiel’s laughter with his own mouth.

“Fine. What else can I say? I fell in love with his obsession with old westerns and bad horror movies. Oh, and don’t get me started on his love for pie.” Castiel says and Dean is still so close, watching him.

Dean opens his mouth and closes it again. Castiel licks his lips.

“Pie?” Dean mouths and Castiel nods. Dean’s whole body feels as if it’s on fire. The blush is back on his face and Castiel’s gaze focuses on his cheeks. Dean wants to believe it’s because Castiel tries to count his freckles.

“Yeah, there is nothing he loves more.” Castiel answers and Dean shakes his head. He understands now, but he is still a bit unsure. Is Castiel really serious about this or is he making a joke?

“I bet there is _someone_ he loves more.” Dean whispers and Castiel’s blue eyes widen a bit at that. Dean smiles a bit shyly, seems like Castiel is really talking about him. Dean wants to jump up and scream it into the world. He wants to sit on Castiel’s lap and stay there forever. 

He doesn’t do anything. He waits.

“M-maybe you are right.” Castiel says and he stutters, when Dean looks down at his lips. Dean can’t help it and he feels better now that Castiel also seems a bit shy about it. 

“I feel like I am. He could never resist you. He loves you way too much for that.” Dean says and while it’s not the confession he had dreamed of, he needs Castiel to understand this. Dean needs him too. Dean loves him too.

“I hope so.” Castiel says and he carefully puts his hand on Dean’s shoulder. Dean frowns. What is Castiel doing? But Castiel just keeps looking at him.

“What else made you fall in love with him?” Dean whispers and this time Castiel presses down on his upper arm. Right where his mark used to be.

“I fell in love with his soul, the very moment I gripped him tight and raised him from perdition.” Castiel whispers.

Dean kisses him.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on [tumblr](https://notfunnydean.tumblr.com)
> 
>  
> 
> I also have to thank my wonderful [friend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Winchester_of_the_lord) for helping me with this! x Love you


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